How To Deal With Difficult People Part 4-The Aggressive Driver When He Is A Loved One

45 year old John terrorized his family when they were his passengers. He would yell at them if they complained about his driving.

He would ignore them when they showed signs of discomfort and even seemed to enjoy scaring his passengers with his maneuvers such as tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, passing other cars dangerously, and pulling too far into crosswalks so pedestrians are unable to safely cross the street. John would show aggression in other ways too — like insisting on choosing the radio station, controlling the volume of the radio, and controlling the temperature, the fan setting and where the vents are aimed while driving. He refused to stop for restroom breaks on long trips.

John was anything but “passengerfriendly” yet he did not see himself as the problem. Statistics show that while 70% of drivers complain about the aggressiveness of others, only 30% admit to their own aggressiveness. John saw other drivers as “stupid, ” his family/passengers as “whiney,” and the roadway as his personal terrain. Unfortunately, we all pay the price for this kind of distorted thinking.

High Cost of Aggressive Driving

According to recent statistics, aggressive driving is at the core of numerous fatalities, injuries and dollar costs associated with accidents. More specifically, it is linked to:

Fatalities (425,000 per decade)
Injuries (35 million per decade)
Dollars (250 billion per year)

The cost to the emotional well-being of family members is also very high. Often, family members develop a fear of driving with the aggressive driver. While they may not talk about it, passengers may lose esteem, respect and affection toward the driver.

Younger passengers may also be affected later in life by being exposed to this kind of driving behavior. By watching and then modeling their aggressivedriver parent, the child may develop similar attitudes and driving behaviors when he or she becomes a driver.

Driving Under The Influence

At its root, aggressive driving is caused by poor ability to handle angry feelings. The aggressive driver is, in effect, driving under the influence of impaired emotions. Studies list many reasons why driving arouses anger in aggressive drivers.

Some of the most common are:

- Territoriality. The car is a symbol associated with individual freedom and self-esteem. Our car is our castle and the space around it is our territory. When other drivers invade our space the aggressive driver responds with hostility to protect his “castle.”

- Restriction. In congested traffic, you are prevented from going forward. This can lead to frustration, anxiety and an intense desire to escape the restriction.

- Multitasking. We become irritated at others when we see them driving poorly while talking on the cell phone, eating, or performing personal grooming.

- Poor life planning. We don't allow enough time to get to our destination on a consistent basis so we “press” to make up for the lost time and then become stressed and angry at other drivers who we see as frustrating our mad dash.

What can you do as a passenger?

While aggressive driving behavior ultimately must be changed by the driver himself, the following are some survival tips that may help until that occurs:

1. Refuse to passenger with such a person until he or she changes.

2. Share with driver how you feel when they drive aggressively. For example: I feel anxious about how fast we’re going (instead of “you are driving too fast”); I’m upset about the way you swore at that driver and I am fearful how it will affect our children who heard you; I feel afraid when you approach pedestrians too fast; I feel bullied by you when you won’t stop for a bathroom break.

3. Encourage person to look at their “driving philosophy” and to develop more empathy regarding how others (like the family) are being negatively impacted by his or her poor driving behavior. That is, help him see himself through the eyes of his family.

This honest feedback from loved ones can be a powerful tool to encourage the aggressive driver to become a better citizen of the roadways.

2006 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

About the Author:
Dr. Tony Fiore, http://www.angercoach.com is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at http://www.angercoach.com.
This article was posted on February 13, 2006
Article Source: articlecity

Driving in France - Training for Le Mans?

France, one of the largest countries in Europe, has a very good system of roads. However, in France, all the "A" roads, that is the autoroutes, are péage (toll roads). Toll roads are indicated by blue signs, while the free roads are marked by green ones. There are always signs at roundabouts indicating more than one way to the same city. The blue signs at the crossroads will identify the road that is péage. Péage highways have some portions that are free, usually the sections that allow free access into major cities. But when there are tolls, they tend to be much pricier than the tolls in the U.S. Unfortunately, the maps don't always indicate which portions of péage roads are free, but there may be signs at the intersections. Keep your eyes open.

National roads are designated with an "N" on the maps. There is a large network of these two- and three-lane roads that goes from town to town. While they are old, they are generally in very good condition. They are the equivalent of the old Route 66 in the US. However, they are mostly in better condition than Route 66 because Europe's roads were pummeled in two World Wars and therefore rebuilt after World War II. The "N" road that winds across Normandy parallel to the sea, for example, is the same route that American troops followed getting off the beaches after the D-Day landing in World War II. "N" roads are shown in thin red on the maps.

If you haven't driven a three lane road before (the center lane is supposed to be for passing), just remember the old joke: "they have a right lane, a left lane and a suicide lane". It'll serve you in good stead.

Which kind of road should you take? It depends on what you need at that moment. If you are in a hurry to get to a particular place, or have a long journey and a tight schedule, you may want to take the highways. If you are in Paris and need to be in the south of France at a particular time, for example, it might be worth the cost to take the highway and pay the tolls. In addition, even though you may not want to use an "A" road, it may be the only one going in the right direction. But those non-scenic "A" roads are always full of trucks and cars traveling at breakneck speed and driving on them can be quite stressful.

If you'd like a good look at the countryside, try those two-lane national ("N") roads. They go through every tiny hamlet that lies in their path and lead into every city. When you find yourself entering a town, you will have to travel at city speeds. "N" roads will slow you down, but you'll also see a lot more. You might even see something that you want to stop and visit.

Of all the slower vehicles in France the farm tractors are the slowest and the drivers in France seemed quite content with their lack of speed. This can be humorous because the French, like nearly all Europeans, drive so fast. One theory is that they are all (1) going to a fire, (2) late for an appointment, or (3) practicing for Le Mans.

Sometimes on the main streets of little towns there are not many places that one can park in safety. Places where one can park are marked either with a "P" painted directly on the pavement or by a roadside sign with a big huge P on it. You always have the option of going onto one of the side roads and looking around for a parking space. And, as you drive through, there may be unexpected Roman ruins or medieval towns or open-air markets to explore.

Outside of towns, there are rotaries (traffic circles) where roads intersect. Within towns and villages there are traffic lights instead of rotaries. The traffic lights in many French towns offer a feature that is puzzling at first, but really is a great boon to driving. Traffic lights on poles at street corners have the usual large set of red/yellow/green lights at the top of the pole, but there is another set of small lights at just about eye level when you are stopped. Because these lower lights are so easy to see, you don't have to crane your neck upward.

Often, when a city lies in your path, you will reach the outskirts and you will find yourself following signs that suddenly make you change your direction. For example, you are going south and the city that you are entering is directly in your path. You continue to follow the signs that indicate the city that the map shows should be next on your route. Although this city is directly south of you, suddenly the signs for that city indicate a sharp turn, leading you in another direction. That's because you may not be able to go straight through the town. Cities are very old and the inner areas may have narrow streets or low overhangs. Traffic is therefore routed through the outskirts.

When you leave the city, you will join the original road again. This process can take quite a chunk of time and may also be very confusing. This is one place where you can get lost quite easily. The trick is knowing which towns beyond the area directly in front of you are on the road that you want and then following the signs for those towns. Eventually, you will re-enter the road to your ultimate destination, i.e., the one you were on when you first entered the city.

The traffic circles are also a bit confusing. The basic rule, which is new in many parts of France, is that cars in the circle have the right of way. But this is not always the case. The rule is in effect only where there are signs at the entrance to the circle that say either "Vous n'avez pas la priorité" (that is, you who are entering the circle do not have the right of way) or "Cédez le passage" (those entering must give way to cars in the circle). If neither of these signs is present at the entrance, the rule reverts to an old rule that gives priority to cars entering the rotary!

There is no doubt that this is both confusing and dangerous, because one has to notice the absence of a sign rather than its presence. Fortunately, not even the French drive fast in this situation. Be careful at rotaries.

Once into the circle, however, you have to take the correct exit, which hopefully will be well marked. If you miss it, or if you are not sure which exit to take, simply go around again until you are sure. No one is going very fast in the roundabout, so even if you make a mistake, it's not likely to create a problem. Sometimes your exit is marked "Toutes directions" meaning that you can get to any location by going that way.

About the Author:
Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Travel
Article Submitted On: June 22, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Why Do I Have A Driving Record?

Your driving record is one of the most important records that is available. Even though this does not seem like that big of a deal your driving record can be used for numerous different reasons.

First off, when you are looking to get car insurance your driving record is going to be requested from your states department of motor vehicles. If you happen to have any accidents or violations on your record you are going to end up paying a higher premium. Driving records are accessible by all insurance companies so there is really no way around this outside of stating out of trouble and accident free.

Also, a lot of people are probably not aware that driving records go a long way in deciding on whether or not you get hired for a job. If you are applying for a position that will require you to do a lot of driving, especially with company vehicles, you will be in deep trouble if your driving record is tarnished. Companies do not like to hire people who may be a major insurance liability. Companies may also decide to run your driving record even if you are not going to be using a company vehicle. They do this to see how responsible you are. If you have something like a driving under the influence violation on your record you may be in trouble. That is why it is important to do everything in your power to keep things like this off of your record. Even if something does happen, be sure to ask the court how to get the record expunged.

It is also possible to take courses on safe driving and state run courses that help to bring up the reputation of a tarnished driving license. These courses add points to a drivers license as opposed to accidents, tickets and other traffic violations equal a docking of points from a license.

Driving records are very important. It is crucial that people realize that a bad-driving record can harm you in more ways than one. Keep your driving record clean from now on!

About the Author:
Nati Robert is the editor of Instant Driving Records. Driving Record Guide. Find information about drivers license records from the DMV.
Submitted: 2006-03-12
Article Source: GoArticles

Defensive Driving Schools In Texas: The Four Texas Online Sites You Need To Know!

Defensive driving refers to a state of knowledge. This state of knowledge involves the intricate knowledge of the road and mechanics of driving. The goal is to help drivers not only drive well, but drive safely when others around them make driving conditions poor. Texas offers several different defensive driving schools. Defensive driving schools in Texas are often available online. Four of these include Online Defensive Driving, a Sense of Humor Driving, Get Defensive, and Texas Defensive Driving Online.

Online Defensive Driving

One school that is based in Texas that is meant to help the Texan driver handle him or herself defensively is Interactive Online Defensive Driving. The program is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The course is segmented into six different sections. Then there is a test at the end. The computer will be the grader of the test and you will have the certificate sent to you.

A Sense of Humor Driving

One program that is centered in the state of Texas is A Sense of Humor Driving School. The sections include an introduction, the traffic safety problem, the student profile, the top 5 moving violation causing crashes, attitude, feelings, habits and emotions, driving challenges, traffic laws, procedures and driving emergencies, protective equipment, organ donation. There are also sections on seat belts, road signs, defensive driving strategies, road rage, DWI, and jeopardy.

Get Defensive

Get Defensive.Com offers another option for Texas drivers. The course is easy and can be done online. The site keeps track of the progress and offers help for course takers.
The course itself is based on defensive driving. There are statistics, animations, driving examples, videos showing the difference in signs, traffic lights and more.
The course is complete when the final exam is taken.

Texas Defensive Driving Online

Finally, there is the Texas Defensive Driving Online. The course is self paced. In other words, you can take the course in how ever much time it takes you to take it. You can retake the final exam. The defensive driving course is a six hour course and covers 12 chapters, with quizzes available after each chapter.

About the Author:
John Mancini has been writing about defensive driving online and offline for a long time. Visit http://best-driving-schools.info or http://www.defensivedrivingschools.net to read more about matters like online traffic schools and Texas defensive driving schools.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

DriversEd.com Educates High School Students On Driving

Teenagers can take a head start on driver’s education through DriversEd.com. This website has just set up a new set of learning tools to assist wannabe drivers learn quickly and efficiently about the life and experience of being behind the wheel.

Of course, the experience of being behind the wheel is just one of the things that should be learned by teenagers who would like to know how to drive. The proper driving etiquette and behavior is another thing. Important as well are information on car maintenance and sources of Mitsubishi OEM parts for vehicles. The parts of the car and their functions should also be learned by the would-be driver. DriversEd.com has set out a program called the “click. learn. drive.”. This program actually is very efficient in providing teenagers training on driving.

With the Gradual Driver Licensing or the GDL, teenagers are required to actually have more experience with driving. Although its guidelines may actually vary as per the state where the teenager is from there are requirements that are followed by all states like the driver should be at a minimum age of 15 years and a half for them to obtain a learner’s permit. Teenagers should also have to undergo a waiting period of at least three months after being able to have a learner’s permit before they could go on applying for an intermediate license. These drivers should also have at least 30 hours of supervised driving.

DriversEd.com founder Gary Tsifrin remarks, “We are seeing around the country that States are raising the bar for driver’s ed and training. It is great that teens are required to have additional training, so that they are more experienced when they hit the road making driving safer for everyone. But schedule is proving to be a real problem. We make it possible for students to complete their driver’s ed requirements on their own time.”

About the Author:
Joe Thompson is the owner of a successful auto body shop in Ferndale, California. This 38 year old is also a prolific writer, contributing automotive related articles to various publications.
Article Source: ArticleToGo.com

Ontarios Driving regulations

Driver licensing in Ontario as a newcomer is a fairly straight forward excercise. You are required to apply for an Ontario driver's licence within 60 days of taking up residence in the province. After 60 days you must hold an Ontario driver's licence to be able to continue to drive – an International drivers licence will give you a maximum of 12 months though. You must always carry your driver’s license with you.

Ontario operates a Graduated Licensing Program, this is a program designed to allow new drivers more time to gain experience and skills at driving. The two step process takes a minimum of 20 months before new drivers obtain their full drivers privileges.

Depending on Where You Are From and how much driving experience you have, you may or may not have to take a knowledge and road test. If you are from a country or province that Ontario has an exchange agreement with, you must pass a vision test and show acceptable proof of your previous license status and driving experience. To exchange an out of province license you will need to contact a Drivers Examination Centre. Don't forget you will need to present your out of country/province driver's license verifying previous driving experience or written confirmation about your previous driving experience from the licensing authorities and there are Fees applicable to the licensing process.

There are 12 different Classes of license in Ontario. Unless you intend to drive a heavy goods vehicle or large passenger vehicles, then you only need to concentrate on classes G & M. Class G is for cars, with G1 & G2 being the applicable levels of the Graduated Licensing Program and Class M is for Motorcycles, again with M1 & M2 for the Graduated Licensing Program.

Vehicle Licensing

All motor vehicles in Ontario must be licensed, insured and maintained, before they are allowed on the road.

To register the vehicle you must buy a vehicle permit and plates and pay an annual vehicle validation fee. The renewal date is based on your birth date; therefore, this will always be the same every year. A renewal form will be mailed to you and you can renew your registration at any Driver & Vehicle Licensing Issuing Office.

If you take your own vehicle to Ontario you have 30 days to register it. If you are looking for a replacement vehicle read the following guide to Buying a Vehicle that provides great information that could save you time, money and trouble!

Another vital service that is available if you are looking to buy a preowned vehicle is to have the vehicle history checked. Several companies can offer this service – more details can be found at the main website linked below in the authors box. For a small fee they will provide a full report on any previous accidents, odometer level, the correct owner/registrant and if there are any other claims against the vehicle ownership. No one needs their vehicle to be repossessed because it has finance against it or find out it has been previously written off!

Vehicle Insurance

It is illegal to operate an uninsured vehicle as all motor vehicles in Ontario must be insured with a minimum $200,000 third party liability insurance policy. You will not be able to register your vehicle without proof of your valid insurance. In Ontario, private companies provide Auto Insurance coverage for all drivers. The main website provides exceptional information on Auto Insurance in Canada and each Province's individual system.

When driving any vehicle you must always carry the pink liability insurance card for that vehicle. Failure to produce it if asked by the police can lead to a fine of up to $400.00. Make sure you get an up to date no claims certificate from your current insurance company before leaving. Some companies may not recognize your previous history depending upon your nationality and the insurance company you were with before but make sure you bring them anyway. Always photocopy all your original driving documents in the case you have to surrender them – that way you will have the copy for future reference should you ever need to prove your previous history or return to your home nation.

About the Author:
Dave Lympany emigrated to Canada with his family in 2003 and has developed http://www.onestopimmigration-canada.com - the free information resource for Canada and Canadian Immigration. With over 150 pages of great content, the site is continually expanding and regularly updated and is an excellent resource for Immigration, Relocation, Research and Travel.
Article Submitted On: August 09, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/